Why does it seem like God doesn’t always hear and answer my prayers?
Psalm 65:2 praises God as “You who hear prayer.” But sometimes it may seem like God doesn’t answer our prayers. There were times in the Bible when men of faith felt like God had not heard their prayer. David began Psalm 13 with these words, “How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long, will You hide Your face from me?” This Psalm is an example of how praying even during those times strengthens our faith. By the end of David’s short prayer, God changed his heart so David could say, “I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me” (verse 6).
Consider these examples of godly people in the Bible whose prayer didn’t appear to be answered by God.
- God heard the prayers of Elijah, “Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain; and it did not rain on the land for three years and six months” (James 5:17), but there was a time when Elijah felt alone and God did not give him what he had asked (1 Kings 19:4, 14).
- God heard Moses’ prayer of intercession in Numbers 11:2, but God also refused to allow Moses to enter the promised land when he asked in Deuteronomy 3:23-27.
- King David’s prayers received both an answer from God as well as silence (Psalm 21:1-4, 2 Samuel 12:20-23).
- Paul did not receive the physical relief he requested in prayer (2 Corinthians 12:7-10).
- Even Jesus’ request of God in prayer didn’t appear to be answered according to what He asked. “He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, ‘O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will’” (Matthew 26:39). Hebrews 5:7-8 tells us, though, that Jesus’ prayer was heard even though His life was not spared from death on the Cross, “…who, in the days of His flesh, when He had offered up prayers and supplications, with vehement cries and tears to Him who was able to save Him from death, and was heard because of His godly fear, though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered.”
God has promised that “…the prayer of the upright is His delight” (Proverbs 15:8). “For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayers” (1 Peter 3:12). Either God hears and answers our prayers or else He doesn’t keep His promise. But we see that God has fulfilled the promises He made in the Bible by doing what He said He would do. So what is the reason we don’t always hear the answer we expect when we pray?
First, we need to have a right understanding of prayer. As friends of God, He invites us to bring our requests to Him: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God…” (Philippians 4:6). But prayer is not about getting what we want; it’s about being connected with God as friends. God hasn’t given us a prayer formula to recite perfectly, which will oblige Him to submit to our will. God’s will is perfect, and our will is tainted by sin. Prayer from an honest heart unites us with God, and in this close relationship our will changes to become more like His.
There are conditions placed upon receiving what we ask in prayer. The conditions are laid out in God’s Word. How we meet the conditions in God’s Word indicates to us several reasons why we may see God’s answers to our prayers.
1. The first reason we may not hear an answer to our prayer is when there is KNOWN SIN IN OUR LIVES. “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear” (Psalm 66:18). “One who turns away his ear from hearing the law, even his prayer is an abomination” (Proverbs 28:9). By holding on to known sins, we erect barricades between us and God so that we can’t experience His blessings. Willful sin is defiance of God, and God cannot bless sin. Isaiah 1:15-17 clearly states the principle that known sin we will not repent from even counteracts our prayers, “When you spread out your hands, I will hide My eyes from you; even though you make many prayers, I will not hear. Your hands are full of blood. Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean; put away the evil of your doings from before My eyes. Cease to do evil,learn to do good….” Here are some practical examples of sin that interferes with our prayers: holding idols in our hearts (Ezekiel 14:3), failing to honor a spouse (1 Peter 3:7), unforgiveness (Mark 11:25-26), refusing to helping the poor (Proverbs 21:13), holding on to pride (James 4:6), or mistreating God’s people (Micah 3:1-4).
2. Closely related to this is when we pray PRESUMPTUOUS PRAYERS. Deuteronomy 1:43 describes presumption as going against God’s will and asking God to bless our actions: “So I spoke to you; yet you would not listen, but rebelled against the command of the Lord, and presumptuously went up into the mountain.” Israel was told in Numbers 14:39-45 not to enter the Promised Land after they rebelled against God, but they disregarded God’s command and expected Him to bless their efforts anyway. We pray presumptuous prayers when we ask God to give, permit, or bless what we know is not according to His will. God has a perfect plan for our lives. God sometimes winks at our ignorance, and He can work despite our unintentional mistakes. But God can’t offer His blessing when we choose a course we know is not His will. This is why David prayed “Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins…” (Psalm 19:13).
3. One type of presumptuous prayer is the PRAYER OF SELFISHNESS. Sometimes we ask for what would gratify our self-centered desires, rather than allowing God to change our desires. James 4:2-3 says, “You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.” In other words, we may be praying for something we would only use to hurt ourselves, rather than for what we know we really need. Jesus told James and John, when they made a selfish request of Him, “‘You do not know what you ask’” (Mark 10:38). They didn’t realize that their selfish request would only cause them harm. If we focus only on our physical desires, we may miss the answers to prayer that God sends because He wants to address our spiritual needs. In Matthew 6:33 Jesus tells us that our spiritual needs should come first in our prayers, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”
3. If our prayers ASK GOD TO REVERSE THE CONSEQUENCES OF OUR DECISIONS, we may feel that God doesn’t hear us. We wouldn’t learn anything if God didn’t allow us to experience some of the natural consequences of disobedience. “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap” (Galatians 6:7). The painful result of sin that turns our attention to Him wouldn’t be seen by us and others. We should pray that God will help us to learn from the consequences of our actions so that we don’t repeat them, and be willing to submit to His will if He does not choose to reverse what we have caused.
4. We may think that God doesn’t hear when we are EXPECTING SOMETHING DIFFERENT FROM THE WAY GOD RESPONDS. Maybe we expect something now when God’s answer takes time. Perhaps we expect a particular miracle when God answers our prayer in another way. In order to give what we want, God may even allow things to happen that will change what we think would be best for us. We want life to be easy, but God knows that it is the trials and temptations that help us to trust Him. If we were to see through God’s eyes, we would discover that His answer is even better than our request. God answers the prayers we ought to pray but are too spiritually weak to know what we need (Romans 8:26-27). We ask for wisdom, and God allows us to face circumstances where we don’t know what to do and must rely on Him. We pray for patience, and God permits us to experience the trials where patience will be developed. We ask for humility and God allows us to stumble publicly. We ask for strength, and God answers our prayer by remaining by our side to help us bear a heavy burden. We ask for healing, and God directs the mind to simple remedies we must put into practice with self-denial and trust. Or we ask for a blessing, and God instructs us to find His blessing in obedience and devotion. In all these unexpected ways, God answers our prayers. When we cling to our own ideas of what we need, we may be preventing God from adjusting our steps and our expectations so that we can receive the blessings He knows we need.
5. God’s answer to our prayer may include a time of waiting to INCREASE OUR FAITH, deepen our prayers, prompt us to search our hearts and obey Him, or open our eyes to deeper needs. In the waiting time, God teaches us patience and endurance (Romans 5:3-4). In looking back, we may see God’s response to our prayers which was not obvious to us in our weakened spiritual perception. “But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him” (Hebrews 11:6). Faith is not the ability to pray hard enough to make God change His mind. It is the spiritual gift of trusting God’s will in obedience.
6. What appears to be a delay to us may be God’s way of teaching us to COME TO HIM WITH OUR WHOLE HEART. Our prayers are sometimes half-hearted and haphazard. We may be unsure of what we need so we make uncertain requests, or we pray one day and forget the next day until we feel desperate again. If God were to give us a physical blessing when our attention is not truly on Him, we may not recognize what He has done or give thanks for how He intervened. Prayer can be a matter of convenience to us rather than an urgent necessity that causes us to cling to God and search for what His will is for us. Do we cling to Him as our only hope, or do we talk to God as a potential helper we hope will come through for us? Colossians 4:2 says, “Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving….” Jesus tells us that “men always ought to pray and not lose heart…” (Luke 18:1). 1 Peter 4:7 tells us to “be serious and watchful in your prayers.” Prayer is not to be a sporadic, fitful interaction with God. Jeremiah 29:13 promises that “you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” One way we pray with a divided heart is to expect God to act when we are not willing to make changes in our lives. God’s response to our prayer may wait until we are willing to trust Him in faith and obedience.
7. We may not hear an answer to our prayers because THERE ARE OTHER THINGS GOING ON IN THE BACKGROUND. Some prayers we pray require us to take action and do our part to bring about what God longs for us to experience. Consider Nehemiah’s example of prayer combined with action: “Nevertheless we made our prayer to our God, and because of them we set a watch against them day and night” (Nehemiah 4:9). Our responsibility in bringing about God’s will is obedience, “‘He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him’” (John 14:21).
God also won’t violate the free will of others to satisfy our desires. The answer to our prayers may depend on choices others are making. God is prompting them to choose what is best, but He won’t violate their free choice. To answer our prayer, God is working behind the scenes in a spiritual battle we may not be able to see. This was the case for Daniel: “Then he said to me, “Do not fear, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand, and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard; and I have come because of your words. But the prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me twenty-one days; and behold, Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, for I had been left alone there with the kings of Persia” (Daniel 10:12-13).
8. Finally, in all our prayers, we must ask “THY WILL BE DONE,” because we know that God’s will is right. He knows what is for our good and what will be best to demonstrate His glory for the salvation of us and those around us. It would not be according to God’s character to give us what is not for our good. Psalm 84:11 promises, “No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” God sees the value in each person and allows the right trial or the perfect time of waiting to shape our characters to resemble His. He answers our unspoken prayers by giving us life, food, the Holy Spirit, the privilege of prayer, and much more that we overlook every day.
Even in hardship and trial, we can cling to God’s promises as the psalmists did, “Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God” (Psalm 42:11); as Habakkuk did, “The Lord God is my strength; He will make my feet like deer’s feet, and He will make me walk on my high hills” (Habakkuk 3:19); as Job did, “And after my skin is destroyed, this I know, that in my flesh I shall see God…” (Job 19:26); as David did, “I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!” (Psalm 27:13-14); and as Jesus tells us we can do, “Let not your heart be troubled…” (John 14:1).